my dancing fingers

Child’s play

It’s funny how social networks makes you quick to judge others based on e very small percentage of things u read or see. Its so easy to read into things that are not what it is and one easily forms their own version of e story.

I went into social networks hoping to make more friends. But along e way i stumbled n steered off course. I wasn’t afraid to admit my mistake, apologise and move on though. I mean we are all adults right? Sadly not everyone has that perception.

The picture u painted may not be the whole picture but its ok. The stories u told may also not be complete but that is fine too.

Because at e end of e day, we are all responsible for our own sins.

Project No 2

After my ectopic pregnancy episode last year, i must admit jumping back into the baby making bandwagon hv been pretty unnerving.

We hv been trying for e past almost 5 mths since ive been given the clear in dec but with the irregular menses it was hard to know when we should be really trying. We just had to hv faith.

In March, my menses finally came bck and although i must admit it was sad to say gdbye to my dragon baby, i was excited to hv my cycle stabilized. Afterall a regular cycle means im ovulating thus allowing e body to procreate. But to be completely honest i was at e same time full of envy at vast influx of baby news all around. Oh well, i am only human.

The cycle is still playing peek a boo so i guess we just hv to keep at it and pray that God answers our prayers. Afterall, He knows best.

break away

my life seems to be stagnant and its getting weary. i wanna be able to do more. to learn more. to experience more of what life can offer. i need to step out from my comfort zone.

sometimes u just need to find yourself again. as you live through your daily life, you tend to get lost along the way. you tend to be sucked in to the devil’s temptations. i wonder sometimes if the person i am now is really who i wanna be or just the person i portray to be. for e sake of…i dunno, reputation? why is it that i care so much about things that don’t matter? about people i don’t know? 

today i begin a new journey of self-discovery and improvising. i need to dig deep inside and be e better person that i know i can be. i am not who YOU think i am. 

my leap day

it was a rather low key celebration. lunch, a lil bit of quiet couple time n off we went to fetch e boy from school. 

seeing my birth date on e calendar this yr felt somewhat…hmm…sad. i dunno if its cause im getting closer to the big 3-0 or cause im not sure if i’ll see it again. pls excuse my morbid thoughts but i hv felt like the world will not last for much longer. maybe its just my paranoia. but 2016 seems so hard to imagine.

moving on. im thankful to hv been given e chance to live this long and i pray Allah continue to guide me and bless me with a long life. Insyallah.  

Changes

As the day i turn older approaches I began to realize that age is catching up w me. im no longer a sprightly 18 yr old running ard school. im hitting close to the big 3-0 and i decided that changes need to be made to the way i live my life. 

my body have been screaming for mercy at the abuse i have subjected it to especially in the recent years. i threw away the 10 kg weight loss prior to the wedding and i again threw away the 10 kg weight loss during my pregnancy. within 2 yrs i have gained it all back, ashamed as i am to admit it. so with this new yr ive decided enuf is enuf and i need to do something abt it. 

to start with, i have signed up for a zumba class and aqua aerobics. im planning on a regular gym trip and hopefully soon i’ll be able to control my diet better. stop snacking, drink less sweet drinks and eat at proper timing. small baby steps to the ideal body type. 

wish me luck. i know i can do this. 

Dreams are my reality

New Beginnings

coz e itch to start blogging again is too strong. let’s juz hope it stays that way.